


No One To Watch While We're Kissing

by NavigatorNine



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Harry Potter Crossover - Freeform, M/M, Quidditch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 12:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavigatorNine/pseuds/NavigatorNine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Hetalia Hogwarts AU)<br/>Elizabeta's constant sexual jokes always make for... interesting Quidditch matches, especially when the Gryffindor captain and the Slytherin Seeker may or may not have the hots for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One To Watch While We're Kissing

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a conversation I had with my lovely friend Madam Neko.  
> I would just like to clarify that the Quidditch teams (especially Gryffindor, don't look at me) are mostly total BS.  
> I'll give a detailed account of everything I hate about this at the end. ;)  
> Oh, and I had to pick some fanon names for a few characters (I got reeeeaaally desperate), so here you go:  
> Netherlands – Abel  
> Seychelles – Victoria  
> Vietnam – Lien  
> Cuba – Raoul  
> Australia – Cody  
> Taiwan – Mei  
> I would just like to clarify that I did not come up with these out of nowhere. They are popular fanon. If you don't like them, don't take it up with me.

 

Elizabeta's voice, magically magnified, boomed loud over the Quidditch pitch. “This is it, the big match that everyone has been waiting for! Slytherin and Gryffindor face down in a physical tournament between big, strong men. I don't know about you guys, but I can't wait to see them slamming against each other, slick with sweat, as they fight for dominance and control over the balls!”  
Several players down on the pitch glared at her as professors and students alike turned bright red and tried to pretend they hadn't heard.  
Arthur jumped and nearly dropped his broom when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Being small and rather scrawny made him the perfect build for a Seeker, but his size also made him easily manhandled. “What do you want, Bonnefoy?” He scowled at his slightly taller teammate, ducking out of his grip.  
“Just want to make sure you really handle those balls aggressively today,” Francis said, smirking. “I know I will be.”  
His friend Gilbert, looked ready to come over and join in, but Ludwig, the team captain and Keeper, pulled him back by his cape. “Not now. The game is about to start.” He shot a glare at Francis, who hurriedly stepped away from Arthur and began innocently fussing over his hair.  
Arthur took in a deep breath and tried not to be too nervous as he mounted his broom.  
Ludwig stepped forward and solemnly shook hands with Alfred Jones, captain of the Gryffindor team.  
The whistle blew.

“And, right away, Lien has the Quaffle!” Elizabeta broadcasted. “She's moving pretty quickly... Dodges a Bludger sent by Slytherin's Natalya... Ooh! Did you see that? Gryffindor scores!”  
Arthur, who was much higher than the rest of the players, had seen it all quite well. Just as Lien had gone in for the goal, Cody had swooped in and aimed a Bludger at Ludwig's head, thus allowing to Lien to make the goal with no challenge.  
“Dammit.” Arthur shook his head and tried to focus, scanning the air for any sign of metallic gold. It was a good day for it, cloudy, so he didn't have to worry about sunlight glinting off of watches and getting in the way. He dropped down lower, trying not to pay too much attention to what was going on beneath him.  
“Howdy!” Alfred flew past him and Arthur could have sworn he saw him wink, but then he was gone, accepting the Quaffle from Victoria and scoring a second goal for Gryffindor in the blink of an eye.  
“Slytherin is really going to have to step their game up!” Elizabeta shouted as the crowd howled.  
“Get with it!” Arthur shouted as Francis flew past.  
“You're one to talk!” Francis shouted back as he drew up even with Victoria and wrestled the Quaffle away from her.  
Arthur always hated himself for what he did next.  
“Across the field, Raoul sends a Bludger at Francis – look at the speed on it – And oh!” Elizabeta struggled to make herself heard over the roar of the crowd. “Arthur flies in and takes the hit for Francis! How heroic!”  
Reflexively, Arthur flew up over the rest of the game so he could take a moment to recover. He coughed a few times, trying to get his breath back. There was no doubt about it, he was going to have a bruise on his chest from that little stunt.  
Then he was knocked sideways as Mei flew past him, her face set.  
“Shit!” Arthur straightened himself out and flew after her, trying desperately to look ahead as he followed. She had either seen the Snitch or was trying to feint, and Arthur was determined to figure out which. Feinting seemed less likely, as she pulled up suddenly. Arthur veered away instead, predicting in seconds what was to happen next.  
“And a collision between Mei and Abel! Will this cost Gryffindor the game? No... It doesn't look like it.”  
Arthur let himself drift sideways, trying to curb his growing anger and focus on the game All this time, and he hadn't even caught a glimpse of the Snitch yet, though Mei apparently had. Suddenly, the world was spinning and he was hanging sideways off his broom.  
“Sorry!” Alfred flew a circle around him. “I didn't see you!”  
 _'Rules be damned.'_ Arthur pulled up even with him and threw and elbow in Alfred's chest. “I'm sure.”  
“Fine, then.” Alfred threw his weight sideways and nearly knocked Arthur off his broom.  
Elizabeta stopped midsentence as Gryffindor scored another goal and eagerly focused her attention on Arthur and Alfred.  
“Arthur is gripping the wood pretty tightly! Would you just look at him and Jones going at it!”  
Shocked, Arthur turned bright red and let go of his broom for a moment. The sudden stop catapulted him forward. He braced for impact as his face slammed into the hard, polished wood of Alfred's broomstick.  
“Incredible!” Elizabeta shouted, standing up and clapping. “Arthur goes face-first into Alfred's lap! I hope somebody got a picture of that!”  
Alfred and Arthur froze midair, each bright red and staring, horrified, at the other.  
“OH MY _GOD_ , KIRKLAND, PAY ATTENTION!” Ludwig thundered from the edge of the pitch, but Arthur didn't notice over the sound of his heartbeat in his ears.  
At the other end, Vash was equally hysterical. “JONES! JONES, I SWEAR TO GOD. YOU ARE THE _CAPTAIN_. MOVE!”  
A dull roar was coming from the crowd, spurred on by Elizabeta. “Kiss him... Kiss him. Kiss him! KISS HIM, KISS HIM, KISS HIM!”  
Alfred shrugged and inched forward toward Arthur, a smirk playing at his lips.  
“Don't. You. Dare,” Arthur growled, turning scarlet.  
“Aw, come on,” Alfred tried to tease, but before he could even get the first word out, Arthur had practically launched himself forward and wrapped one arm around Alfred, though his face was buried in Alfred's shoulder.  
He pulled back just as suddenly, laughing almost maniacally and thrusting his fist in the air. “We win!”  
“INCREDIBLE!” Elizabeta shouted. “Arthur has the Snitch! Slytherin wins!”  
Alfred wasn't sure whether to direct his glare at her or at Arthur. He settled for Elizabeta, muttering “traitor” under his breath as she jumped up and down excitedly at the podium, her red and gold scarf fluttering behind her.  
“What the hell was that?” Ludwig demanded, flying up beside Alfred.  
Alfred shook his head and flew for the ground. “I don't want to talk about it.”

His teammates were at least kind of enough to give him some space, though he made sure to avoid the common room after he had showered off.  
Instead, he chose to wander the halls of the castle, not even caring if he got in trouble for being out too late. His first thought had been to go visit the Owlery, but his distracted feet instead took him on a random path as he relived the end of the game over and over again in his head.  
A sudden chill shook him out of his reverie, and he shivered and looked up. “Oh. It's you.”  
Arthur looked a little stunned. “Well, yes. You're right by the Slytherin common room. Didn't you realize that?”  
“No, I didn't.” Alfred turned to leave as he felt a surge of sadness in his chest.  
“Wait. I, um... I figure I at least owe you this.” Arthur stepped forward and pressed his lips against Alfred's, exhaling a shaky breath through his nose.  
Alfred's eyes widened, but before he could so much as think, Arthur was hurrying back the way he came.  
“W-wait!” Alfred called, face burning. “Do I get any more of those?”  
“Talk to me tomorrow.”  
Alfred smiled as he headed back in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. Maybe losing wasn't such a bad thing after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so in case you were curious or I didn't make it clear enough, here's the lineup of both teams:  
> Slytherin:  
> Chasers – Francis*, Antonio*, Abel  
> Beaters – Natalia, Gilbert*  
> Keeper – Ludwig  
> Seeker – Arthur
> 
> Gryffindor:  
> Chasers – Alfred, Victoria, Lien  
> Beaters – Raoul*, Cody  
> Keeper – Vash  
> Seeker – Mei*
> 
> I know that it's traditional for the commentator to refer to the players by their last names, but I didn't want to do that, because I thought it would be a bit jarring.  
> Now, like I mentioned before, this sorting is mostly stuff I came up with out of desperation. I put stars by the names of people I think I sorted incorrectly. If you want, drop me a comment telling me your headcanons about which House you think any Nation should be in. I love to hear about that sort of thing!  
> Also, I really don't think that Spain, France, Taiwan, Cuba, or Netherlands would really be interested in being on the Quidditch team, but you never know.  
> That's really it. Hope you liked the story!


End file.
